A Big Steaming Pile

It's the most absurd thing ever,
picking up after your dog. It's sick. I'm going to go walking down
the street with a bag of shit waving back and forth, back and forth,
stinking and bouncing against my thigh. It's disgusting. I want five
minutes alone with whoever came up with that law. Why not just leave
it in the street, where it will biodegrade in a couple days. That
plastic bag, that's covered in shit, that can't be used for anything
else, will last a million years. That bullshit law has just turned a
week long problem into a problem that will far beyond the point where
all our bones have turned to dust.

I can understand not
letting the dog go on someone's lawn. This one prick, her dog pissed
on my lawn while she was talking to me. She should thank God I wasn't
armed at that moment or it would have been the last mistake she ever
made. I don't want to mow my lawn and find a turd, I can understand
that, but the street? What's the harm leaving it in the
street?

Birds can shit wherever they want, and with those damn
geese it's WORSE than human turds. They are a biological hazard and
totally destroy whatever environment they invade. Squirrels can shit
wherever they want, deer, bears, every animal can shit wherever it
wants, but not dogs. What the fuck? What makes dog shit,
specifically, so hazardous while geese shit is perfectly sanitary and
nobody need pick it up? Whoever invented this law, I want to chop off
his balls and choke him to death with them.

"Wastewater treatment system is
NOT designed to filter dog waste!"
But it filters bird waste
no problem? What's the difference? It filters EVERY kind of animal
waste EXCEPT dogs? That's bullshit right there.

"Our
natural ecosystem can handle 2 dogs per square mile."
Then
where the fuck did dogs come from? I'm pretty sure there was a time
when there were more than 2 wild dogs alive in the same square mile
eating and mating, otherwise there wouldn't be any dogs around
today.

"According to the EPA dog poop is as toxic to the
environment as chemical and oil spills."
Bullshit. Don't be
fucking stupid. A chemical spill in India killed thousands of people
overnight. Never once has thousands of people died from a fucking dog
turd.

WHY THE FUCK IS GEESE SHIT PERFECTLY SAFE BUT DOG SHIT
IS THE WORST TOXIC HAZARD EVER?

What more, people BUY shit - they call
it "Menwar" to make it sound fancy - to spread on their
lawns to make it grow, but that's not DOG shit, that's special French
shit that's so expensive it has to be clean and beautiful! All those
chemical fertilizers and pesticides, no problem at all. That's
certainly not going into the water supply. But a turd! A fucking
turd! That's the worst thing evar!

Give me a fucking break.

Saint Patrick

It's Saint Patrick's Day, the day celebrating the patron saint of Ireland, who was so fed up with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking island that he kicked them all out. That's right, he kicked them out. If only he could have come back and kick the English off the island too, he could have saved millions of lives.

Now, let me tell you a little about the Irish. They're one of those people who have suffered a tremendous great deal. In the 1850s the English tried to murder all the Irish to take their land, so when a blight came and rotted out all the potatoes (that's the problem with a monoculture, but the potato is a fantastic food in good times. Combined with milk it provides all the nutrition an adult needs to survive.) the English overlords refused to send food relief. The English did not create the blight, but they did create the famine by taking advantage of the blight to starve the Irish off their land. 1 million people, a third of the total population, died. I don't know if Amnesty International considers it a genocide, but I do. A million more people left to come to America.

In America they were treated worse than shit. They came over in the bowels of ships, in such wretched filth that one sick person could infect the whole lot of them by the time they crossed the ocean. One whole ship was wiped out completely from cholera in a single afternoon. On land they had to be quarantined (which means held for 40 days) before they could join the general public. Back then the US government held immigrants for 40 days to make sure they were disease free. Now 30 million just jump the border and those fucks in Dumbfuckistan want to give them all citizenship. I want to vomit thinking about it.

In America the Irish had to live fifty people to a single room of about 1000 square feet with paper thin walls, no heat, no running water. If the building caught fire, and they often did, nobody gave a fuck because they're just Irish. Let them burn, we can always get more.

They were given the shitest, most dangerous jobs on the continent (the only worse jobs in the whole planet were on "guano islands" where thousands of Chinese "Coolies" had to dig mountains of petrified bird shit to turn into gunpowder). They built this country. If not for the Irish the US would not be an industrial giant.

Then in 1916 civil war breaks out because the Irish got fed up with their English overlords, who failed in their genocide. The war continues for nearly a century as they try to kick the English off their land. A few years ago they reached an agreement.

All the while the Irish have been turned into cartoons, leprechauns, drunks. Their day has been turned into an excuse by non-Irish people to get drunk and start fights. Their parade has been taken over by perverts in leather thongs and stiletto boots. The people who life has shat on for two centuries are still getting shat on.

There, go and enjoy yourself now.

Nonconformity as Mental Illness (Post 500)

Autism, depression, schizophrenia... now in Australia questioning authority and introversion are officially a mental illness (but the desire to cut off your genitals and inject yourself with massive quantities of dangerous hormones for the rest of your, now shorter, life is curiously classified as sane). And how is it that one in 70 children now has autism? Is the human genome disintegrating at mind blowing speeds, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that there is no reliable test for diagnosing autism in children younger than five years old, when most diagnoses are made? Maybe if we follow the money we can uncover the truth behind the push to label everyone as possessing an incurable illness that requires lifelong, and expensive, treatment.



Runs 38 minutes.